1. Bathing Suits (need I say more?)
2. Pull Ups - not the diaper, the physical exercise of lifting your own body weight. Never gonna happen.
3. Tank tops. Too much arm exposure for the tonally challenged.
4. Spatulas. They make it too easy to scrape up every last bit of food, leaving nothing in the bowl and me with a brownie batter mustache.
5. Really big sandwiches. It's impossible to cram the whole bite in my mouth, but I sure as hell try to.
6. Buffets. Doesn't matter where I'm at or what's on them. It's the magnitude of options and my ambitious endeavor to try them all.
7. Scales. DUH
8. The bottom of the chip bag. When the chips are all gone but there's still some crumbs crammed in the corner of the bag at the bottom. You know what you do to get them out. No shame.
9. Life jackets. (this is more so due to the struggle to snap it around the chest area, not so much the tummy).
10. Split rocks. Never have I feared for my life more.
Know what doesn't make me feel like a fat ass? A 3-pound loss last week! Boo ya!
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