So I made it my life's mission today to get rid of anything I could - whether it was clothes, shoes, purses, random things like a shoe rack I don't use, scarves...anything I do not wear or want anymore was going. Let me give you a rundown of what's going on right this very moment: I currently have 4 piles - one is for the trash (I apparently have an affinity for wearing stuff with holes in it), one is for Goodwill (it's a pretty big pile), one is for keepers, and one is a goal pile. "Cassie, what's a goal pile?" Glad you asked.
The goal pile is for the clothes that I wore, at some point in my life, and don't anymore. Reasons could be that it doesn't fit, doesn't fit quite right, or shamefully, still has the the tags on it. This is starting to become quite a big pile. Ok, I have to have a rehab moment and admit to a problem- I am willing to admit that I am a "someday I'll wear that" shopper. Not all the time, but seeing the heaping pile of "someday I'll wear them" clothes, I'm starting to think it's a bigger problem than I originally thought. I have a huge issue with this. If you know me well, then you also know that as a shopper, I am a HUGE advocate of not buying something unless I can get many, many years out of it. If I'm gonna buy a kitchen table, I want to be able to have that kitchen table for 15 years. That's why I have a simple style and love black - it's always in (and slimming).
So naturally, my issue is that I have purchased these clothes, and for the majority of the pile, haven't even worn one time. It's starting to look like a gigantic waste of money, and that doesn't settle with me very well. What also doesn't settle with me very well, is the other part of the pile that consists of clothes I did wear at one time in my life, and don't (or can't) wear anymore. It's pretty f***ing sad, actually. They're nice clothes and are practically brand new. Aside from the fact that I spent money on these, I'm more disturbed by the fact that physically, I was able to wear them. For instance, I am clinging to a pair of old volleyball spandex (literally, in my top dresser drawer, haunting me) that I used to wear....in public. I mean, I used to run around in these things. I look at them now and I think "holy shit, I never knew how good I had it then." When I was in high school I thought I was enormous. Now, I was an athlete and was in pretty good shape, but sit me down at my lunch table and I was def the biggest girl there. When the 2010 version of Cassie looks at pictures of the 2002-2005 version of Cassie, I always think "why did I ever think I was that big, that was nothing." I would KILL to be that way now. Maybe it's a product of getting older and wiser (yes, I'm wiser) or maybe it's just seeing things how they really are but now, I would def apologize to my high school self for being so hard on her and shame my now self for not being hard enough.
Ok, getting back on track to the wardrobe - this pile of sad, lonely, barely worn clothes has given me a little affirmation of "I'm gonna fit into those f***ing clothes if it's the last thing I do." I'm no dummy, I know that I've been training since December and don't look all that different. I know that. I mean, I'm probably in better shape that I was in December and I know that I have muscle tone, but I don't have any outward proof that Bobby is a real person, who I know and pay to make me skinny, haha. So ya know, just gotta get back on the horse and stop letting things like working late and traveling to Illinois every weekend get in my way. And I am fully aware that my wedding is in just a little over 3 months (trust me, the nightmares are eminent) and ya know whether I'm 600 pounds or 100 pounds, I'll get married either way. As long as I can get through those church doors it'll happen. And I have faith that I will - they're double doors. :) Haha, seriously though I'm just being realistic, as creative as I am, I'm also very logical and practical and I just don't need to put that kind of pressure on myself while all of these other things are going on.
I just have to say, that planning a wedding is stressful. No matter how you approach the process, it is stressful. I have adopted the philosophy that I just want everything to be as simple as possible because it's already such an over-complicated day, that worrying about minute details, is pointless. Don't get me wrong, I totally get caught up in the favors and the gifts and the decorations, etc. I geek the f**k out over that stuff. I pick my battles about what to be particular on, but when it comes to making a decision, whatever is the easiest, is what I'm going with. And ya know what? Whether the centerpieces are wrapped in purple ribbon or not wrapped at all, everyone will still have a good time because we have good taste in music and like to drink. :)
I continued separating my clothes into the piles and here's what we got (don't mind the dog, he likes to lay around in clothes...even if they're still in the laundry basket).
Goal pile (not including all of the jeans)
Can you tell which one is the bagged up Goodwill stuff and the throw-away clothes? Yea, they're equally as big...and those are extra large lawn bags filled to the top. *sigh*.....
(the one on the left is the throw away)
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